Journal of My Joblessness!- 8 September (Thursday)

Crisis of confidence?
Things done:
- Major day for drum practice! Finally got into the Grade 6 drum solo. This is totally uncharted territory for me. While it is definitely challenging, again, I am so happy that I applied to MDS just because they are pushing my drumming so much right now.
- Watched 'The Chef' during lunch. Both the movie and (our homemade) lunch were super good!
- Talk at Camper's Corner on one lady's experience at the Tour de Mont Blanc. It wasn't really what I expected, but I do appreciate that she decided to share her experiences with us. Considering that there were some seriously seasoned hikers in the crowd, I admire her guts in sharing her story, including all her cock-ups as well!
- Saw Fang in the audience at Camper's Corner. This was the first time I've seen anyone from FGE (other than Marc) since I left the company. I didn't go up and say hello. In my mind I imagined our conversation going as follows:
R:Hey Fang, how are you?
F:Wow! Ryan... wow! You look different, really different. What happened?!
R;Ahh.. nothing much. Just thought of trying something different. I don't have a good reason to shave these days. Haha
So how are things going?
F: Alright. Things are quite busy at work as usual. Haha. But going ok. What about you? What are you doing now? Are you working?
R: Oh no. I'm still taking a break actually. So, no...not working. I'm just taking time off, planning my next move and also doing some small part-time work here and there.
F: Hmmm... oh ok.....
(awkward silence, followed by me jumping out the window)
In retrospect, it's too bad that I didn't go up and say hello. I would have liked to hear how things are going back in the office (although I don't know why exactly) as well as how things are going for her (again, not sure why really!).
I guess I was worried that she would judge me and so I shied away from the encounter. While that would definitely happen, I really shouldn't be worried about it. The fact is that people always judge other people and that's ok.
In the end, I have nothing to prove to anyone. Just myself.
I wasn't too happy with my brief (but telling!) crisis of confidence.
Lessons learnt: (see above)